Making the Most of the Last Summer Before College: A Mom’s Honest Reflection

This summer feels different. It’s not just another stretch of long days and late nights. This is the summer before my son leaves for college. And while I’m so proud and excited for him, I’m also grieving the quiet shift that’s happening in our home and in my heart. I want to soak up every moment without putting pressure on either of us to make it “perfect.”

I want to feel all the feelings — the joy, the sadness, the pride, the panic — and still find ease in the everyday. This season isn’t just about preparing to say goodbye; it’s about honoring everything we’ve built together and gently stepping into what’s next.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of the “Lasts”

Let me be very clear that I never bought in on that emotionally manipulative “eighteen summers” nonsense. For one, it’s not true. While this summer certainly marks a change, it’s not the end.

On the other hand, it marks a huge change. At my son’s post-graduation dinner, my parents reminisced about my own high school graduation. They remarked how our lives changed over the next few years. I’m still very much in their lives, but the specifics are different.

I’m not home for dinner every night. I don’t sleep down the hall. They’re not aware of my daily plans and we don’t have the opportunity to spend time together simply by decompressing on the couch at the end of the night.

Shifting the Focus: From Loss to Opportunity

I’ve said it one million times throughout the past year – I’m SO excited for what’s next for my son. I loved college. I would go back tomorrow if I could. For me, living in the dorms, getting to chart my own course, and making dumb college kid mistakes was all such a unique, formative and memorable experience.

Not only am I excited for him, but I’m excited to parent him through this next phase. I’m excited for the phone calls and the texts. I’m excited to learn what kind of kid he is when he’s making his own daily decisions. I’m looking forward to seeing the friends he makes and the things that make his college experiences as memorable as mine was. I’m looking forward to parents weekends, and spoiling him when he comes home for holidays.

Quite frankly, his budding independence has resulted in some minor clashes. I recently learned the term “soiling the nest” and I cling to every article that marks it as completely normal developmental behavior and not a sign that our relationship is crumbling.

I think having a little space to spread his wings outside of the watchful eye of his (admittedly helicopter) parents will be good for all of us.

How to Set Rules for Your College Kid this Summer

Giving Myself Permission to Feel Everything

I have a memory of an old Hallmark Cards commercial. It features a daughter in an ice skating competition and a mom presents her with two cards and says, “One’s for if you win, and the other’s for…”

You know where this is going, right? It’s the same card! I can’t even talk about that commercial without crying, so it stands to reason that I’m going to spend the next few months feeling pretty emotional.

And that’s going to have to be okay. I don’t plan to take to my bed until August. I have noticed that my emotions sneak up on me. For example, I found graduation to be celebratory rather than tearful. On the other hand, watching him head out to dinner with the other seniors from his church group made me tearful in the garage.

(If anyone can find that Hallmark commercial online, I’ll be forever grateful. I searched everything I could think of but came up empty.)

How I’m Making the Most of This Summer

I’m taking that “Summer Before College Bucket List” and throwing it straight into the trash. Don’t worry, I don’t actually have one, mostly because this isn’t my first rodeo. I know teenage summers often mean surrendering family time to sleep-ins, screens, and social lives.

Repeat after me, that’s fine. It’s fiiiiiiiiiine. I promise you can connect with your kid in unexpected ways. Invite them to walk the dog with you. Listen when they talk to you, even if it’s just while rinsing off their dishes. Text them your Wordle score.

If the traditions are important to you, choose a couple to make a priority. Realistic expectations are the name of the game this season.

Preparing for the Goodbye (Without Letting It Ruin the Summer)

I’ll be honest. I have no idea how to do this part. My personal goal is to live in the present moment as much as possible. This is not a skill of mine. I’m a planner by nature so I’m always looking forward to the next thing. I’ll probably need a rubber band around my wrist to snap every single time I start a mental countdown in my head.

Not a single person who knows me would describe me as a someone who goes with the flow. I am the damn flow. But I’ve also tried to erase every pre-conceived notion of what this summer should look like from my mental to-do list.

I want him to enjoy his summer. I want this house to be a place where he can invite piles of friends over. I want to shop for his dorm room, and make his favorite foods. I want to fight every urge to miss him before he’s gone.

Looking Ahead: What This Next Chapter Means for Me

I’ve thought a little bit about what this change means for our family dynamic. I have two kids, so I’ll still have my fifteen year old daughter at home. If the past is any indicator these next three years are going to go by in a flash.

When I was staring down the barrel of this senior year, I started to wonder who *I* am if not a full time parent. I’ve spent the last year leaning into my business and my friendships because it’s important to me that I’m a whole person, too.

While I still really wonder who I am without my kids being my primary focus, at least I feel like I’m laying the groundwork for a full life that doesn’t feel like it has a giant hole in it.

Gratitude, Grace, and Growth

If you’re counting down the minutes this summer know you’re not alone. I imagine the next few months will feel a bit like a roller coaster. I can’t predict the moments that will make me cry in the garage, but I know they’re coming.

It’s not just their next chapter — it’s ours too. And I’m trying to turn the page with love, presence, and an open heart.

We’re Your New Best Friends

Hi, we’re Megan and Wendy your midlife besties! Join us on Patreon every Monday where we’re talking everyday life, pop culture, and more!

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