Real Talk on Navigating College Application Season: Advice for Parents
As I type this it is April of my son’s senior year of high school and I’ve done exactly what I swore I would not do: I’ve made the college application process my entire personality. I’ve also learned a LOT along the way. I’m not a college admissions expert, but I am a mom who has a few things to share about surviving college application season.
The college application process is a big, involved machine. I could talk to you about casting a wide net (you absolutely should!) We could talk about the expense (it’s outrageous!) And then there’s testing, the choice to take AP classes vs. dual enrollment, and now we’re off to the races.
I am not a college applications professional. I’m just a mom with a few things to say. Let’s get into it.
Set Your Ego Aside
I’m going to start with this one in the hopes that it sinks in. I think this is a HUGE and not often talked about issue in the world of college decisions. Parents want to be able to share their child’s next steps proudly. Kids want the same thing.
I’m here to tell you that the pride that you feel should have nothing to do with the name of the school your kid gets admitted to and ultimately decides to attend.
Seriously.
Be proud of the hard work they put in during their high school years. Be proud that they have big plans for their future. Be proud that they’re trying new things.
The college admissions process is brutal. Be the person who reminds them that they are so much more than what a portal says.
Prestige Doesn’t Mean Best
I’ve watched lots of kids and parents (myself included) get caught in the cycle of assuming that the school with the most prestige is the best choice for their student. In fact, I think the most prestigious schools on my son’s list of applications are actually terrible fits for him personally.
That might not be the case for your kid! It also might be the case that your kid would thrive in a different environment.
I’m not suggesting there is no advantage to the name recognition that comes with certain schools. I am however suggesting that this isn’t the only factor that plays into future success. Connections can be made in all sorts of environments.
The Beginning Doesn’t Always Determine the End
You might find yourself with a set of college acceptances that don’t match what you and your child had originally hoped for. Now what?
Now’s the time to make a big decision. Is it more important where you start or where you graduate from? There is no one right answer to this question. The “best” school means something different to every single kid. Rather your student will have to seriously consider the answer to this question.
The transfer route is a fantastic option, one that will save you a ton of money and allow you to transfer to a school that might not have been accessible straight from college.
Alternately, it might be super important for your kid to have a full four year college experience. Start those pro and con lists!
No Decision is Ever Final
One of the schools my son applied to offered to jump on a zoom call with him to chat about their program and I urged him to take them up on it.
During the call, their badass no-nonsense head of the Computer Science program talked to him candidly about their program and his goals. But it was what she said to him about choosing a school that stuck with me the most.
“There are no bad choices,” she said. “You’ve got a lot of great options in front of you, each with their own advantages and trade-offs. And, the very worst thing that happens is that after a year you decide to transfer to another school.”
She shrugged as if it was no big deal. Because it IS no big deal. I’m 45 and still wondering what’s next. I have new ideas and change my plans constantly. Remind your child that they have the same freedom.
You Only Have to Choose the Next Step
While the weight of these decisions feel enormous and life altering, they’re really just one next step of many. You can change your mind. You can reverse course.
Throughout the entire process, go back to my first piece of advice. Remove your ego from the process. We’ve got this.
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Megan is mom of two—a son heading to college and a daughter navigating the teen years. She’s a bookworm by nature and an iced coffee enthusiast by necessity. She can be found raiding her strategic candy reserves (hidden in every drawer of her house) or apologizing for the state of her car, which she describes as ‘organized chaos.’