It’s Not You, It’s My Hair: Breaking Up with Your Hairdresser

Let’s talk about breakups. No, not the dramatic kind that involves shared custody of children, pets or Netflix passwords. I mean the quieter, messier kind – the ones no one prepares you for. Like breaking up with your hairdresser.

She Saved Me, She Knows Me – But Something’s Not Right

Yes, my hairdresser. My stylist. My tamer of frizz and fixer of cowlicks. The woman who, for more than a decade, has known the exact shade of blonde I like before I even know it myself.

And yet… I think I might need to leave her.

Even typing that makes me feel like I need to go sit in a dark room with a weighted blanket and a glass of wine. This isn’t just a casual service provider I found on Yelp and ghosted after one uneven bob. This is someone who rescued me – rescued me – after a former stylist left me with green hair. My current stylist took one look, mixed a magical formula like a potion master, and voilà – green be gone. She earned my loyalty.

And she’s had it. For ten years.

A Decade of Hair Adventures

We’ve been through a lot together. She’s seen me through my short-short phase (more than a time or two), highlights, lowlights, and that unforgettable time I accidentally turned my hair blue trying to “refresh my toner at home.” She fixed a bang trim I attempted with kitchen scissors and had me back in fighting shape after months of COVID grow-out, when my roots had their own zip code and I looked like I was in witness protection. She knows exactly where I like my part, how I want my round brush blowout, and that under no circumstances should she ever suggest embracing my natural curls.

The Hair Disappointment That Won’t Go Away

But lately? I’ve been leaving the salon feeling…disappointed.

Not every time, but enough times to notice. Enough to start wondering if it’s her – or if it’s me, not knowing how to ask for what I want. Or maybe I am asking, and it’s just not translating anymore. The cut feels a little dated. The color doesn’t pop like it used to. And worst of all, I can’t tell if I’m just being picky or if I’m ignoring a very real need for change because I’m afraid of hurting her feelings.

The Hard Truth: It’s Not Easy to Switch

Here’s the thing: at this point, you don’t just switch stylists. People say, “Oh, just try someone new!” like I’m picking out a new brand of granola bars. While I appreciate their encouragement, I’m not sure they fully understand the internal conflict here.

The Guilt of Letting Go

This woman isn’t just some random pair of scissors for hire. She came highly recommended by a dear friend (a friendship that’s now more about Christmas cards and birthday texts than coffee dates, but still). So if I leave, well, let’s just say an awkward conversation is definitely in my future.

But I also can’t ignore the nagging feeling that I’m stuck out of guilt, not satisfaction. That I’m paying a premium for a service that doesn’t quite deliver anymore, and then tipping out of habit and history instead of genuine gratitude.

The Need for Change

I keep telling myself maybe it was just a bad lighting day. Or that my hair is just moody. But truthfully? I think I’m craving something new. A stylist who sees the woman I am now – not the one when I thought side bangs were a game-changer. 

Breaking Up with Your Hairdresser: Do I Stay or Do I Go?

So here I sit, emotionally entangled with a woman who holds sharp scissors and tender memories, wondering: do I stay out of loyalty, or finally do what’s right for my hair?

Because at this stage of life, shouldn’t we be walking out of the salon feeling like a million bucks, not second-guessing ourselves in the rearview mirror?

Maybe it is time for a change.

But first, let me book one more appointment. You know, just in case.

We’re Your New Best Friends

Hi, we’re Megan and Wendy your midlife besties! Join us on Patreon every Monday where we’re talking everyday life, pop culture, and more!

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